I am a strong beleiver in the Lord, and letting Him show me the way.
But I am finding that it is harder and harder to keep my nose out of it, so to speak, as I get older.
As I have grown, became a wife and a mother (twice), I find myself leaning more and more on the Lord for guidance and support. Which is how it should be, I think. However theses days, I do seem to hit bottom harder, than before. Now, I pray and pray for direction and his guidance and I am able to maneuver around most bumps in the road. But when that final rock or landslide, as it sometimes feels, falls in my path, I loose it. I question why... why me....why we can't catch a break, why we aren't being rewarded but punished for being good people.
Last night I was looking at videos and emails with a friend and I came across one that opened my eyes and made me ashamed of being so selfish.
It was a wife and mother that was tired of being invisible. She was given a book by a friend. A book of photos of great works of european architecture, of which none of the builders are known. The inscription read "for all the great unknown works you are creating"
At that point I realized, I am not suppose to be recognized. I am a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter and a friend. I am doing what I am suppose to do. Just being me. Then I cried. I sobbed and sniffled and cried. My friend was here for me and understood totally what I was going through, without even knowing my problem or asking a quesiton.
The Lord had done it again. Everytime I have a "pitty party" for Cara, He brings be back to reality. The good Lord showed me exactly what I had needed at the exact right time. But he wasnt done with that.
I often listen to the local Christian radio station as I drive. This morning as I was driving one of my favorites was on. This pastor was discribing how, your thoughts can be your reason for failure. That even at your lowest, your lack of trust and believe can be leading you astray and away from the Lord and his plan for your life.
Here again, he placed me in the car at the right moment to hear that portion of the sermon. Just want I needed, just when I needed it.
I have realized today, no matter what life throws my way, no matter how many "bolders" roll in my path, I am held safe in the shelter of God. I have great unseen works still to create.
My only purpose, my only reason for doing any and everything I do is for my children. To create a safe, Christan, happy home that they always want to come back to.
I now pray He helps me do that, as He leads the way.
