My Confession....How I have Fun on Friday night.

I have been a busy girl lately. Work and family.... .like most women today I try to find a good balance between the two. I do a decent job at it, but every now and then I realize I have tipped to far one way, or the other.

Of course, when I tip too far on the family side I really don't mind as much. However, more times that not, I seem to focus more on the work than the family (or that is what it seems like to me).

Today, I focused on family. I don't regret it or feel guilty. Well....ok... I did for a little bit this morning when I was sitting in bed watching the Today Show with my husband. But that moment passed. I love my children, as most mothers do. But sometimes the kid in me comes out and I remember being in my child's shoes. Wanting everything I see in the store. Wondering why I couldn't have this and that and something else. Wanting to, "Go Home Right Now" immediately after the selection of the ONE thing I could have. I remember having those feelings, and when I have those flash backs..... I GIVE IN.... I know I shouldn't but I do. I GIVE IN.

I am an easy push over mom sometimes. And driving home tonight with two children, each with their selections from the store, I realized..... this is ok! Giveing in to my child every once in a while, is ok. I am a Full-Time, working MOM! I deserve that right to spoil my child when I can.

I will never be that parent that can buy all the designer clothes, or the best toys or games. (that is what Grandparents are for right? hehe) But seriously, I can give them a book or a toy or a night out every once in a while and enjoy that feeling of "spoiling" them.

To me these time, like tonight, would have only been better if my husband could have been here, but he is working and out of town. So, it was just me and the kidos. We left after school went to the big city (which tonight was Frankfort) and ate at Applebees. We even ordered an appitizer.

Then, oh then, we ..........WENT TO WAL-MART! Yes, we are Kentuckians, and have a little red on our necks... but darn it... Wal-Mart is a good source of entertainment and a great way for me to multi-task. (meaning I can entertain my children AND get the shopping done)

Rule, number one: GO TO THE TOYS FIRST. This allows you time to review your list while the children's eyes are bulging out of their head deciding what to look at first. They will keep themselves entertained for a good 10-15 minutes per isle. (side note: I have taken this time to review cupons as well)

Rule number two: DO LET THEM PICK OUT ANY TOY. But here is where you get them. (or with mine it works) say, you cant get anything else tonight.......he hates that. Because who knows what other wonders lye under the roof of this magical store. OR you can go for the, you can have a toy but only less than X amount. Then you are not just telling them NO. They have parameters for shopping.

Note: by allowing the choice of "something" you leave yourself open for them to forget while cruzing the rest of the store.

Rule number three: well ok, I only have those two. BUT they work. the kids get something to play with while you are doing your shopping AND if they get bored or stop paying attention to it while in the store, I ALWAYS reserve the right to discard on the nearest shelf.

Anyway, enough rambling, can you all tell I am tired? The basis for my blog tonight. I am a reckneck working mom of two, who LOVES taking her kids to WalMart on a Friday night.

YEEHAW!!!!!!

Nope not there yet

I have often wondered. "How do you know when you have hit bottom?" I mean no hope left, no more options, throw your hands up in the air, I give up, ROCK BOTTOM

Well, I think I know, but as I have learned from the Good Lord, when I say I know something, he has an uncanny way of proving me wrong and letting me know -"child you don't know as much as you think you do."

So, I am not going to say, "I have hit rock bottom!" and maybe I will begin to head up again.

A few things I have realized sitting here looking up.

- You have a totally different perspective of the world, people and family.

- You learn to be vulnerable, open and ask for help.

- There is no room for pride.

- If you are two laps behind "the Jones' " pretty good assumption you aren't going to "keep up" so give up!

- Nothing, Nothing is more important than your kids and their safety

- Nothing makes things OK like a smile and hug from them

- Be honest, with yourself, your spouse and God.

I am not going to say that I have taken all these steps but I have realized them. Now to act on them.

I love those ads that say, "Save for a rainy day" "our credit card says you money" "We can help you with our consolidation loans"

But what if, you can't get ahead to save, your ends cant see each other let alone meet.

What if you aren't eligible for that great 0% card? What if you aren't eligible for that great consolidation loan?

Why is it that those that need the help, cant get it? And those that don't, can?

The great mysteries of life. I think once you are caught in this horrible cycle of debt, it is like quicksand, the harder you try and struggle to get out, the deeper you go. Today, I have no more struggle in me, I just feel like sinking down and letting it consume me. Maybe it already has.

Pray with me,please...

Lord, help those that need it, put your arms around them and light that spark, that will to fight back and make it work. To do your will and be thankful for the small victories, to choose the right paths to go down and once they do, light that path with a bright light so they don't loose focus and keep on track.

Lord, you know the needs and the issues that each of your children hold. I pray you guide, nurture and lead them in your path and with your guidance and as hard as it may be for them, in your time.

Watch over and keep them, A-men.

I know each of you that read this and I hope you understand this is my outlet. this is my way of sharing my feelings, emotions, trials and tribulations so I can better understand them. I thank each of you for your love and support.

Letting God Lead

I am a strong beleiver in the Lord, and letting Him show me the way.
But I am finding that it is harder and harder to keep my nose out of it, so to speak, as I get older.

As I have grown, became a wife and a mother (twice), I find myself leaning more and more on the Lord for guidance and support. Which is how it should be, I think. However theses days, I do seem to hit bottom harder, than before. Now, I pray and pray for direction and his guidance and I am able to maneuver around most bumps in the road. But when that final rock or landslide, as it sometimes feels, falls in my path, I loose it. I question why... why me....why we can't catch a break, why we aren't being rewarded but punished for being good people.

Last night I was looking at videos and emails with a friend and I came across one that opened my eyes and made me ashamed of being so selfish.

It was a wife and mother that was tired of being invisible. She was given a book by a friend. A book of photos of great works of european architecture, of which none of the builders are known. The inscription read "for all the great unknown works you are creating"

At that point I realized, I am not suppose to be recognized. I am a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter and a friend. I am doing what I am suppose to do. Just being me. Then I cried. I sobbed and sniffled and cried. My friend was here for me and understood totally what I was going through, without even knowing my problem or asking a quesiton.

The Lord had done it again. Everytime I have a "pitty party" for Cara, He brings be back to reality. The good Lord showed me exactly what I had needed at the exact right time. But he wasnt done with that.

I often listen to the local Christian radio station as I drive. This morning as I was driving one of my favorites was on. This pastor was discribing how, your thoughts can be your reason for failure. That even at your lowest, your lack of trust and believe can be leading you astray and away from the Lord and his plan for your life.

Here again, he placed me in the car at the right moment to hear that portion of the sermon. Just want I needed, just when I needed it.

I have realized today, no matter what life throws my way, no matter how many "bolders" roll in my path, I am held safe in the shelter of God. I have great unseen works still to create.

My only purpose, my only reason for doing any and everything I do is for my children. To create a safe, Christan, happy home that they always want to come back to.

I now pray He helps me do that, as He leads the way.

Today I received this wonderfully funny random email. She always knows EXACTLY what I need to read and when I need to read it.

So I thought I would share, pretty sure we all have these thoughts!

ENJOY

RANDOM THOUGHTS ....

Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

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There is a great need for sarcasm font.

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Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what in hell was going on when I first saw it.

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How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

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I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

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I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

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I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

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How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

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I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.. Stay strong, brothers & sisters !

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Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

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Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

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Bad decisions make good stories.

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You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

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Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

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I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper, and I swear I did not make any changes to it.

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I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? D@mnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop dead?

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I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

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Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every early morn...

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It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on CNNcom and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

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I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet that on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Light than with Kay..

SMILE ---- it makes people wonder ...