Nope not there yet

I have often wondered. "How do you know when you have hit bottom?" I mean no hope left, no more options, throw your hands up in the air, I give up, ROCK BOTTOM

Well, I think I know, but as I have learned from the Good Lord, when I say I know something, he has an uncanny way of proving me wrong and letting me know -"child you don't know as much as you think you do."

So, I am not going to say, "I have hit rock bottom!" and maybe I will begin to head up again.

A few things I have realized sitting here looking up.

- You have a totally different perspective of the world, people and family.

- You learn to be vulnerable, open and ask for help.

- There is no room for pride.

- If you are two laps behind "the Jones' " pretty good assumption you aren't going to "keep up" so give up!

- Nothing, Nothing is more important than your kids and their safety

- Nothing makes things OK like a smile and hug from them

- Be honest, with yourself, your spouse and God.

I am not going to say that I have taken all these steps but I have realized them. Now to act on them.

I love those ads that say, "Save for a rainy day" "our credit card says you money" "We can help you with our consolidation loans"

But what if, you can't get ahead to save, your ends cant see each other let alone meet.

What if you aren't eligible for that great 0% card? What if you aren't eligible for that great consolidation loan?

Why is it that those that need the help, cant get it? And those that don't, can?

The great mysteries of life. I think once you are caught in this horrible cycle of debt, it is like quicksand, the harder you try and struggle to get out, the deeper you go. Today, I have no more struggle in me, I just feel like sinking down and letting it consume me. Maybe it already has.

Pray with me,please...

Lord, help those that need it, put your arms around them and light that spark, that will to fight back and make it work. To do your will and be thankful for the small victories, to choose the right paths to go down and once they do, light that path with a bright light so they don't loose focus and keep on track.

Lord, you know the needs and the issues that each of your children hold. I pray you guide, nurture and lead them in your path and with your guidance and as hard as it may be for them, in your time.

Watch over and keep them, A-men.

I know each of you that read this and I hope you understand this is my outlet. this is my way of sharing my feelings, emotions, trials and tribulations so I can better understand them. I thank each of you for your love and support.